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June 30th, 2004

05:03 pm: F.A.G.S. endorse Jelloboy for President
Fathers Against Gay Sex (F.A.G.S.) today announced the endorsement of Jelloboy for President of the United States. The announcement came after a unanimous vote by FAGS Board of Directors. Jelloboy will now enjoy the full support of the nations only organization of fathers against gay sex. With more than 90 local chapters, Fathers Against Gay Sex will mobilize thousands of dads in its efforts to elect Jelloboy.

Even before his first year of birth almost thirty years ago, Jelloboy has been a friend to F.A.G.S., said Donald Longneck, F.A.G.S. Executive Director. There has never been a presidential nominee who has held such a strong record of support for our community.

Our community will face a critical choice this election, Longneck continued. We are faced with an incumbent who is actively campaigning and governing against our families. With this endorsement, we hope to begin the process of uniting our community behind a candidate who respects our families. We all need to work to elect Jelloboy as President."

Fathers Against Gay Sex will now use its resources to create a coordinated campaign among its membership to elect Jelloboy and the Jelloboy ticket. While F.A.G.S. deferred presidential endorsements to its local chapters during the primaries, the organization used the period to create a strong structural framework for a campaign that will mobilize the FAGS community to elect the fair-minded Jelloboy.

As part of its national efforts, F.A.G.S. recently named Ben Dover as Director of its Grassroots Campaign Corps. As Director he will lead grassroots efforts to educate the world about Jelloboys record. The F.A.G.S. Campaign Corps will also focus on registering voters, creating voter files, training activists and building coalitions for Jelloboy in targeted states and will run aggressive, get-out-the-vote efforts in November.

Jelloboy will move us forward on issues important to our community, said Dover. We disagree with his decision to support a Massachusetts amendment that would ensure civil unions, and we will fight to defeat any such amendment. However, like I did with my own Dad on the campaign trail, we will continue to educate people about F.A.G.S. In Jelloboy, we have a candidate who will fight for F.A.G.S., not against us. While George W. Bush is actively campaigning against our families, we know a Jelloboy Administration will be a partner in our progress.

Bushs strong opposition to F.A.G.S. has even encouraged numerous Republicans to work with the Fathers Against Gay Sex to defeat him in November.

Amending the U.S. Constitution isnt enough, said Mike Hunt, a former Republican activist in Ohio. Hunt resigned his positions with the Republican Party shortly after President Bush endorsed the federal amendment. There are many life-long Republicans like me who have left the party and will now work with the Fathers Against Gay Sex to elect Jelloboy this fall. We should respect our families enough to defeat a President who doesnt.

"Our entire community realizes that our families are threatened," added Longneck. "This administration continues to promote anti-F.A.G.S. judicial nominees, political appointees, legislation, and now a constitutional amendment, that threatens our children and undermines the stability of our families."

Jelloboy has a long record of support for F.A.G.S. In 1985 Jelloboy authored a version of the Civil Rights Amendments Act that was F.A.G.S. friendly. Since then, Jelloboy has used his leadership to promote issues such as workplace protections and equal prosecution of hate crimes against F.A.G.S. Jelloboy has pushed for increases in spending for F.A.G.S. and has fought against anti-F.A.G.S. measures in the world. In 1996, Jelloboy was the only one who voted against the discriminatory "Lets Kill F.A.G.S." campaign.


June 29th, 2004

01:03 pm: JELLOBOY RUNS FOR PRESIDENT
It's OFFICAL, I got the paper work in the mail today!

JELLOBOY FOR PRESIDENT

Some my ask, why would you Jelloboy want to run for President. Well, lets see.

1) Cause you get to tell everyone what to do
2) You can send decentors that disagree with you to 'work camps'
3) YOU GET FUCKING NUKES

Talk about a cool job description. My platform to the world will be, "SURRENDOR NOW or DIE TRYING LATER." My domestic platform would include removing the hassle of voting and cleaning up the enivorment.

I know what you're saying, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING SO FUCKING GAY LIKE CLEANING UP THE ENVIROMENT. Well you dickhead you didn't let me finish.

You see Jelloboy loves the eviroment, unforchantely it's being destroyed by children. YEAH that's right, CHILDREN are always walking all over GRASS upsetting it's NATURAL ENVIROMENT. So are ANIMALS. When I'm PRESIDENT these will no longer be a problem, I assure it... THEY'LL NO LONGER BE A PROBLEM.

SO in 2004 there is onLY ONE REAL CANIDATE - JELLOBOY.

Jelloboy approved of this message.


01:03 am: Quick Question
Who would win in a fight, Janet Reno or Michael Moore?

Reno is well known memeber of the snunk ape family and has some retard disease, while Moore is just a fat fuck.

Just something to think about as you make your way through your day working at McDonalds or whatever shit job you do. Me, I'm your boss, like 4x removed up the chain. While you work the fries, I work your mother. J-E-L-L-O boy owns the hishouse.


June 28th, 2004

10:52 pm: How to escape
Based on my excellent military ananlist below people have asked me if they're ever kidnapped by the A-RAB terrorists what should they do to get away.

Well a popular technique is something called the 'hey look over there' move. The way it works is when the terrorists have you held captive you simply point behind them, or if your hands are tied you look in a direction that is behind them, and you say, "hey look over there." When this occurs the A-RAB terrorists will look in the other direction, at this point you quickly walk out the nearest door.

Now some people have critizied me in the past for giving up too many of our high tech secrets. Well not to worry, the A-RABS are not the brightest people on earth, and even if you told them what you was gonna do just 3 minutes before you did it, they'd still fall for it.

So that's the latest installment in 'ASK JELLOBOY ANYTHING'.

If you would like to have your question answered give me a call at 32 or telepaticly at #443.

Jelloboy
I Love You


08:43 pm: S4 Motherfuckers
So I asked this fag, what the hell am I suppose to put on this board and he said, "S4." And I said what the FUCK is s4 and then he said " mykeyboardsbrken." What a fucking nazi talking that german shit.

As it turned out this dumbass thought his keyboard was broken, but if that was the case don't you think he wouldn't have been able to type anything.

What a fucking retard.

OK, I've now been asked to explain why I'm so succesful, why everyone likes me and why I'm RICH biatch while you ride a bus to work.

Well...

1) I'm not a FAG
2) An acient Jelloboy secret
3) Profit mother fuckers!

Additionally some people have been asking me what would happen if the GOOKS had to fight the A-RABS.

Well this is an interesting contest, while A-RABS have fleets of magic carpets and can dress up like women to avoid capture, GOOKS can hide in the junbles by looking like trees. Obviously the GOOKS have the advantage when the battle is in the jungles since they can hide as trees when the A-RABS come flying by on their magic carpets the GOOKS can do like the Macho Man and simply stick out their arm and clothes line them, thus knocking them to the ground where the watery swamplike land will cause the A-RABS (not use to water) to die.

What is more interesting is what would happen if the GOOKS fought the A-RABS in the desert. I've been thinking about this and I still belive the GOOKS would win. While A-RABS choose long ago to align themsevles with camels, the GOOKS choose to alignt themselves with monkeys. If the GOOKS moved in slowed, hidden as trees, they could carry hundreds of thousands of monkeys with them. Once they got near the deserts the monkey would jump out the trees and capture the camels. While the flying carpets are nice for getting from one place to another, they do have a 190lb weight capiticy which prohibts the A-RABS from using them for anything more than obeservation posts. With their camels being kidnapped by monkeys, the A-RABS would be let without brides and demoralised. So according to this theory I'd have to say that the GOOKS would win.

Thats all for now.

Jelloboy
Leader of the FREE world and BEYOND


08:23 pm: Welcome to ME
Welcome to the Jelloboy Live Journal. Within this journal I'll share my darkest secrets and most inspriational dreams. Within this journal you'll follow me on a journey through my world. I hope you enjoy this journal and tell all your friends that Jelloboy is your friend.

Jelloboy
Future Man


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